Living and Dying in this Pandemic Time

"For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord's. For to this end Christ died and lived again, that he might be Lord both of the dead and of the living." Romans 14:7-9

I'm living in a time of a global pandemic which began perhaps at the end of 2019 and is still raging in various parts of the world. Every day the numbers are given of new cases, recovered and deaths, and news of more vicious variants of the "unforgiving virus". There is fear and suffering, anxiety and despair for many. But for many too, there is a time of turning to the Lord and of growing in Him in Lockdown and isolation, in quietness and trust, in repentance and rest.

"For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, 'In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.'" Isaiah 30:15

Two days ago, I received news of the death of a pastor in Malaysia due to the Covid-19 virus, and before that there were two other pastors too who had been infected and died. One of the first recorded deaths in the country was that of a pastor in Sabah, and we have heard of many pastors in India dying with the thousands. There is no difference: the virus strikes all humans regardless of gender, faith, nationality, status or age. Some are slain by it, some survive. A few hours ago, I received happy news of the recovery of our pastor friend and his wife and family in Myanmar, "Many thanks for your prayers. We are all recovered. Praise the Lord. God is so good to my family." Praise God for His grace and mercy in healing them indeed. But shall we not also praise God when He does not heal according to our prayers and instead takes the sick home to Himself? As Job said,

"Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord." Job 1:21 And, "Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?" Job 2:10

Death indeed was the bane of the human race, the curse and punishment that has fallen on all because of Adam and Eve's sin against the One and Only True Living God.

"For as by a man came death, by a man has come also the resurrection of the dead. For as in Adam all die, so also in Christ shall be made alive." 1 Corinthians 15:21,22 "But in fact Christ has been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep." 1 Corinthians 15:20

How Christ has made all the difference in the world! By His life of perfect obedience to the Father, His death on the cross as a propitiation for our sins, His resurrection form the grave evidencing the efficacy of His sacrifice and salvation for all who believe in Him, He has defeated death and redeemed us for Himself.

"Death is swallowed up in victory." "O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?" "The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." 1 Corinthians 15:54-56

So now, we can say with Paul,

"For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labour for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. I am hard pressed betweent the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account." Philippians 1:21

"Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labour is not in vain." 1 Corinthians 15:58

"Into your hand I commit my spirit; you have redeemed me, O LORD, Faithful God. My times are in your hands; rescue me from the hand of my enemies and from my persecutors! Oh, how abundant is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you and worked for those who take refuge in you in the sight of the children of mankind! Blessed be the Lord, for he has wondrously shown his steadfast love to me..." Psalm 31: 5,15,19,21

Starting Isaiah Again

"Wash yourselves, make yourselves clean. Put away the evil of your doings from before My eyes. Cease to do evil, Learn to do good; Seek justice, Rebuke the oppressor; Defend the fatherless, Plead for the widow." Isaiah 1:16,17

Here is a God who is Holy and Righteous, a God who is good and Just, who cares for the weak and the suffering, the creatures He has made. Here is a God who "cannot endure iniquity and the sacred meeting" (v 13). O God, how can I wash myself, how can I make myself clean or put away the evil of my doings before Your penetrating eyes? How can I ever cease to do evil, begin to learn to do good, seek justice, and so on, when I am so self-centred and bent towards fulfilling my appetites and lusts? But You said,

"Come now, and let us reason together, Though your sins are like scarlet, They shall be as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, They shall be as wool." (Isaiah 1:18)

How, O Lord, how can it be? Who can do this miracle? Who else but You? And how? Only by that amazing stupendous act of grace of life, death and resurrection of the Holy Lamb of God!

"What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the blood of Jesus; What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus. Oh! precious is the flow That makes me white as snow; No other fount I know, Nothing but the blood of Jesus. For my pardon, this I see, Nothing but the blood of Jesus; For my cleansing this my plea, Nothing but the blood of Jesus. Nothing can for sin atone, Nothing but the blood of Jesus; Naught of good that I have done, Nothing but the blood of Jesus. This is all my hope and peace, Nothing but the blood of Jesus; This is all my righteousness, Nothing but the blood of Jesus. Now by this I’ll overcome— Nothing but the blood of Jesus, Now by this I’ll reach my home— Nothing but the blood of Jesus. Glory! Glory! This I sing— Nothing but the blood of Jesus, All my praise for this I bring— Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

How can I ever thank You enough, O God my Savious? I can lay down my life for You, and say like Isaiah did, "Here I am! Send me."

Like Grass and Like a Dream

All flesh is grass, And all its loveliness is like the flower of the field; The grass withers, the flower fades, Because the breath of the Lord blows upon it; Surely the people are grass.

Isaiah 40:6,7

Last night, I dreamt that I went back to our old apartment in Sri Kinabalu. It was now occupied by my cousins Yet and Pin and an unidentified baby. I walked into every room and saw the changes: new furniture, decor, less clutter. We had lived there for more than 10 years, but there was no trace of us having been there before. It evoked memories of our lives there with the boys growing from babies to preteens, when we moved to our present apartment. Here today, gone tomorrow; even the place remembers us no more: "As for man, his days are as grass: as a flower of the field, so he flourisheth. For the wind passeth over it, and it is gone; and the place thereof shall know it no more." Psalm 103:15,16

How then should we live while we are here? How do we make a difference, an impact to other lives, our environment? Do we leave a place better than when we first found it, or worse? Do we leave a legacy of good or are we just passing by, leaving nothing behind? Who notes and records our lives and deeds, and remembers us? We all seek to be remembered somehow; we want to leave an impression, a legacy, big or small. We want to be immortal. But we are flesh, grass and flowers of the field, transitory, passing by, ephemeral; the wind blows and tempus fugit. Oh Lord God who is the Eternal and Unchanging One, the Alpha and the Omega, the Sovereign Judge of all the earth, here I am, flesh and grass: desiring to live well for You, before You, to be in Your good book of records, to be known and remembered by You, to please You and be Your joy. I cannot do anything apart from You, but thanks be to God, You are the Vine and the Source of my life. So help me to stay, abide in You, in Your word, and live with and in You forever more. "The grass withers, the flower fades, But the word of our God stands forever."

Isaiah 40:8

My Identiy in Christ

"For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2:8,9

Who am I and why am I here on earth for?

I was once, like all other humans, "dead in trespasses and sins, in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others."

But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us/me, even when we/I were dead in trespasses, made us/me alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us/me up together, and made us/me sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us/me in Christ Jesus.

I've been saved, raised from the dead, seated in the heavenly places in Christ, I am His new creation and masterpiece in progress, prepared for good works on this earth, and perhaps in the age to come too. I am the beloved child of God, bought by the precious blood of Christ. I was crucified with Christ on the cross and now am victorious in Him by His resurrection power. I have the mind of Christ: I have been raised up so I can see things from the heavenly perspective.

"I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God; for if righteousness comes through the law, then Christ died in vain.” Galatians 2:20,21

So here I am, by the grace of God I stand and live. Here I am, Lord, lead me, and use me, all for your glory.

Bitten by the Bug

Finished "The Hunger Games" in one day yesterday! Brilliant plot and setting reflecting life as it is even now: the inequities of the social classes, the fascination with entertainment, and the evil we do to one another to "survive". Now I'm looking forward to the movie!

Srill feeling under the weather: dry n sore throat, intermittent cough, and now some phlegm n sneezing. Still I have to go for classes. And I still haven't gone to the Big Bad Wolf Book Sale yet! I'm in two minds whether to go or to skip and save, considering that the apartment is already overflowing with books. It'll depend on how quickly I get better.

There are so many more books here in the home that I haven't read yet. My sons and even my students (some at least) are reading more than I am or have now. Gotta catch up. I've caught the reading bug again! And if the BBW Sale has infected and spread the bug to many young people, I'm glad!

Mirror Mirror

It started Thursday with a mild fever and a sore throat. I took 2 panadols and slept. The next day, I went to teach and had one-on-one with several students while the rest did their Wordly Wise. I thought I was well already, though the throat still was sore, and then began to be irritable and gave me a dry cough. There's an occasional sneeze. Thankfully, no running nose, which I hate. Hope I'll get over it and that it won't last for 5 weeks as it did for Siew Heng. She said she felt better, then worse, several times.

Reading "The Hunger Games" now and finding it quite enthralling. Haha, now I'm reading books recommended by my students and sons. How the tables have turned. Watched "Tropic Thunder" on dvd with D: silly over the top gags. I told D that if we ever were to bring in a young 'un in to foster, we'd have to quit watching such movies in the home. He said, "What makes you think I'd be continuing to do so?" He's keen to take in this 10 year old kid who needs a foster family, but I'm hesitating now. Will I be up to it? I'll be doing the main work, there'll be more work and responsibilities. Will we be good for the kid? We're no perfect godly family. We're flawed humans with baggage and many blind spots still. Am I asking for trouble? Or, will it, paradoxically, be good for us all? Lord, please guide and confirm it for us.

James did a good job leading in the singing. And thanks to God and to Alex and Fiona, the young adults had a good outing to the MV Logos Hope Saturday nite. Glad that Junie came after an absence of a few weeks. The speaker, Patrick Cheng of the NECF, has a masters in Christian Counselling as well as in secular Counselling, and he was talking about how to build emotionally healthy churches. We just need to listen to one another and help one another to renew our minds, basically, and we wouldn't be needing professional counselors and psychiatrists. We are like mirrors to one another, and we need to speak the truth in love to one another. Besides that, something he didn't say, I think that we need to keep reading the Word of God and applying it in our daily lives: the Word is like a mirror to us, showing us not just our outward appearance, but going deep even into "the thoughts and intents of the heart" (James 1:22-25), Hebrews 4:12)

Was glad that Michelle came, after her almost month-long sojourn to Paris and Europe, and we had a nice lunch at the curry fish head shop in Rampai with Sheryl and Ashwira as well.Was also very glad that the new Michelle came again with her husband, Ryan. Praise God that she is very keen to grow deeper in the Lord and has a desire to be baptised. She's taken the first Nav discipleship book and will be doing it, and I'm to be her partner. Thank you, Lord!

Turning, Churning

New books and new songs and movies are being churned out faster than I can keep up. My O3 students are crazy over the Percy Jackson books (the movie failed to impress any of them), and also over "The Hunger Games" now being made into a movie.

Through D, I got to know Adelle, and I listen to her CD "21" to and fro work. Her songs are very catchy, and I hear my students sing them like pros, even the 11 and 12 year olds. Like her song goes, "I can't keep up with your turning tables," so I say I can't keep up with the changes of the world.

How marvellous is the creative gift that God has put in us! But then again, it's the same old story dressed in new fashion and style, always the story of love and loss and faith and betrayal, life and death, beginnings and endings. As the preacher said, There's no end to the making of many books and songs and stories, and also, "much study is wearisome to the flesh." (Ecclesiates 12:12)

I have to accept that I cannot keep with the turning of the world; one day I will take my leave and the world will go on without me. People will still be people, and God will still be God, and best of all, He will continue to build His church and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.

And then the Preacher said,

"Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter:

Fear God and keep His commandments,
For this is man’s all.
For God will bring every work into judgment,
Including every secret thing,
Whether good or evil." (Ecclesiates 12:13-14)

May Their Tribe Increase!

Here I am, one of the few privileged to be able to sit here and ruminate and cogitate, and to write. Life is hard for so many, waking daily to labour, sweat and tears, with no time to sit and stare. I am thankful, and I am reminded not to take things for granted. Steve Jobs just passed away at 56, and the world mourned the loss of an innovator and visionary.

Yesterday the Nobel Peace prize was awarded to 3 women: President Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, director of Women Peace and Security Network Africa Leymah Gbowee both of Liberia and democratic activist Tawakkul Karman of Yemen. That just makes me feel good, hopeful and thankful. May their tribe increase!

As for me, mother of 2, teacher of more than 40 students, struggling to organise the home and work, I give thanks to God: for giving me life and health and strength. Thank you for my grown and mature sons: I saw pics of the older one on horseback in a ranch on the other side of the world! The younger one who was staying with a friend for a week just sent me an sms two days ago which said, "Mommy I love you". And he's going to be 20 end of this year. That is just so sweet, and typical of him.

I thank God for my husband too who is faithful, hardworking and responsible, and I pray God that You may bless him with good fruit for his effort and faithfulness, and a bonus, if You will, especially, a gift of a holiday to a place of his heart's desire.

Most of all, I thank God for who You are, for without You life and all it can give is meaningless, but with You even the bad becomes good. Thank You, God.

Do Not Be Surprised

Come to think of it, it's not just the Book of Acts that talks about and to a church that is being persecuted. All the epistles, especially Peter's, are addressed to believers who were living like aliens, exiles, pilgrims, a new and strange people who were counter-culture to the world in which they dwelt.

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. For it is time for judgment to begin with God’s household; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? And,

“If it is hard for the righteous to be saved,
what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?”

So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.

1 Peter 4:12-19

O Lord, be with Your people now who are facing persecution here in Malaysia, and all over the world. Help Your people to stand firm and remain true and faithful to Your name, to testify of You without fear and shame, to shine as lights in an increasingly dark world.

GOSPEL

“Then God has also granted to the Gentiles repentance to life.” Acts 11:18

GOSPEL: God offers sinful people eternal life

What great good news! The truth is that all people, both Jews and Gentiles, are sinful and are sinners from birth. All of us are estranged from our Creator God and as such, are dead spiritually, and condemned to judgment and eternal separation from Him who is Life.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." John 3:16

All of us need to repent from our own way of life, being our own master, doing our own thing and neglecting the Author of life and His ways.

As Peter said, "But you denied the Holy One and the Just, and asked for a murderer to be granted to you, and killed the Prince of life, whom God raised from the dead, of which we are witnesses." Acts 3:14,15

So Lord, I thank You for Your mercy and grace upon us sinners, for giving Your Son to die for us, bearing our sin and shame. I thank You for offering to us this gift of life, forgiveness and freedom from sin and darkness. Thank You that this offer is to all humans on this earth.

Remember this land in these troubled days: grant to the many diverse people groups here this gift of repentance to life, that in days to come we shall all come before You in praise and thanksgiving with varied tongues and bring glory to Your name. Heal this land: let the few of those who know You here remain steadfast and strong, to be salt and light for the health and regeneration of the multitudes of the lost.