Widows

My mother-in-law is 76 and can only speak in her mother tongue, the Chinese dialect of Hainanese, with a smattering of some of the other dialects like Hokkien and Cantonese. She had never gone to school in her younger days and after marriage in her early 20's, for over 50 years, she depended on her husband who was fluent in the Chinese, English and Malay languages to interpret for her: every sermon or speech in church, every movie or news on the tv, the newspapers or magazines he read. He tried to teach her some Mandarin, but she didn't seem to have the gift for languages. Or maybe she didn't try too hard. After all, he was always there, explaining things and answering questions. And she was kept busy in the kitchen cooking all his favourite dishes, besides those of her children and grandchildren.

Now that he is gone, she wants to learn to read the Bible in Chinese. And this is thanks to Aunt Mei, her younger sister who had also lost her husband to liver cancer some 10 years ago. Aunt Mei used to work in a bank and now retired with 3 grown children and 3 grandchildren, she spends her time with one or other of them or at home in Penang, but all the time, praying, praising, singing and talking about the Lord wherever she is. She is with her sister now for 2 or 3 weeks, doing all that and encouraging her to learn to read and speak Mandarin, to depend on the Lord. As she says in her broken English, "I tell my sister, I am alone but I am not alone. God is always with me."

Then there is Malliga, whose husband John died in July last year. Malliga had never worked outside the home: from her mother's house, she went to live with John and continued to cook and clean and serve her husband and then an adopted daughter. She can read and write English and Tamil, and is supported by her family and her church, the Tamil Methodist Church in Ipoh. She can cook the best dhall, chicken curry and thosai in the whole country, and whenever we visit, as we did last Thursday, we get to eat all that finger-lickin' great Indian food, followed by the best steaming hot teh tarik. She also sews and earns a little from sewing curtains and clothes.

The house is quiet without John's loud boisterous voice calling her for this and that, from the moment he wakes till he sleeps. 14 year old Nisha goes to school and then for tuition for every subject ("Tuition is my hobby, " she says), and at home, it's homework all the time. That's the life of a typical Malaysian student. Thankfully, she has her cousins and church youth fellowship to keep her weekends and holidays full. And she has a mother who, like the wife of noble character of Proverbs 31, is clothed with strength and dignity, and can laugh at the days to come, who watches over her and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. (Proverbs 31:30)