Waiting for ...

She was an active lady who used to drive and go about town, traveling widely enjoying life and all its delights of sight, sound and taste, enjoying her retirement from working in the office, even in her seventieth decade. Then she had a fall and broke her hip. Now she's 80 years old, living in an old folks' home, mostly bed-ridden, needing help to get up and sit down and only walking very slowly with the walker.

She has 3 children: a son and a daughter who're married with children who have their own lives and families to take care of and who decided it's best for mother to stay in the nursing home because she was all alone in the house and if she fell again, no one would be there. There is a third and youngest son, who had worked in the seas and had not married, but because of a motorbike accident, now has only one leg and walks on crutches, and lives in a senior citizens' home here in KL.

He would ride his motorcyle all the way from KL to Ipoh several times a year to visit his mother. "She was a very beautiful lady," he told us showing us an old photo of hers proudly. Once she even danced with our Datuk Lum, the president of the NACSCOM, during her senior citizens club days.

But since his last visit early this year during the Chinese New Year holidays, he had not been able to make another trip because of his own ailments. So we went yesterday.

The Home was like a scene from a horror movie about old sick people lying around in various catatonic states. A single-storey bungalow with 4 rooms filled with beds and reclining chairs everywhere, with silent immobile old men and women. One old woman who was sitting in a rattan chair outside in the compound near the door began to shout at us, scolding us in a Chinese dialect which we couldn't understand with great anger and hatred. She continued railing to the air after we moved to another part and sat at a table to talk.

There was no nurse or caretaker around at the time we visited, about 2.30 pm after lunch. There are 5 maids who care for the 70 over residents and we saw some lying resting on mattresses on the floor between the beds. There was no talking, no music, no sound, except for the voice of the woman who had begun to rail. Three old folks were playing mahjong at the only other table next to us in the compound.

Sally seemed to be the only one conscious, alert, and alive, but physically trapped there: she could see and hear and speak good English to us. "What to do?" she smiled bitterly. "It's all fated." Her son and she agreed that it must be punishment for her having enjoyed her life so much in the past. But when we prayed for her before we left, our hands holding her, she had tears in her eyes and said "Thank you" several times. "Look to God, call out to him. You are not alone. It's not all wasted."

Is this what life is? To be born, work and suffer, steal as much enjoyment as we can, and then wait to die?

As Moses wrote in Psalm 90:

9 All our days pass away under your wrath;
we finish our years with a moan.

10 The length of our days is seventy years—
or eighty, if we have the strength;
yet their span is but trouble and sorrow,
for they quickly pass, and we fly away.

11 Who knows the power of your anger?
For your wrath is as great as the fear that is due you.

12 Teach us to number our days aright,
that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

13 Relent, O LORD! How long will it be?
Have compassion on your servants.

14 Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.

15 Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,
for as many years as we have seen trouble.

16 May your deeds be shown to your servants,
your splendour to their children.

17 May the favour of the Lord our God rest upon us;
establish the work of our hands for us—
yes, establish the work of our hands.

O Lord, be with Sally, and also her son here. Let them see and know You and Your glory and Your love for them. Let them come to know Your peace and Your joy.

For "... this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent." John 17:3